Comparing yourself to your peers can be a way to gauge how "normal" you are. It might give you ideas about your own strengths and weaknesses. The problem starts when this process snowballs and gets out of control. You might start to think that you will never be good enough. You might even find yourself making some of these statements:

  • "I'm not smart enough."
  • My skin color isn't right."
  • I'm not important enough."
  • I'm not thin, pretty, handsome, athletic, funny, happy…etc."

Make the decision to take control of your self-esteem. The first place to start is time. It may sound like an odd suggestion, but think about it for a second. People with negative self-esteem often tend to be thinking about two things:

  • the past
  • the future

They're frequently sad because they think their past was a failure and they're often scared that they are never going to be what they want to be in the future. This type of thinking can cause you to get stuck. When you're stuck in either the past or the future, you never get to really experience what is good in your life right now.

Now that you are ready to take responsibility of how you see yourself, try these tips:

  • Keep your Emotional Timeline in mind.
  • Recognize that comparing yourself to others often makes you feel "less".
  • Make sure your self-talk is positive.
  • Fill your life with things that work for you and things you are good at.
  • Be kind to yourself.
  • Focus on what you can control and recognize what you can't control.
  • Surround yourself with people who appreciate who you are right now.

Most importantly, understand that just having a great self-esteem says nothing about how good of a person you are. There are plenty of dangerous and hateful people who think the world of themselves. However, if you combine self-esteem with compassion for others, you will be someone who people look to for leadership. They will see that you are neither bogged down by your past nor scared of your future. Instead you are ready to face the day with confidence and kindness. You will be someone that others are naturally drawn to.

When you start to question yourself, "can I really do this?" Remember, every day is another opportunity to be a better person. Each little step will make a difference.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. 

-Eleanor Roosevelt